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A gentle ‘NO!’ is better than a fake ‘YES!’

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A gentle ‘NO!’ is better than a fake ‘YES!’

 The ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ are two simple words in the English language, which generates a vast array of mind-boggling problems when used incorrectly-whether intentionally or unintentionally. These two short words are relationship builders and not breakers; when your entire mind screams for a “No.”; but coming to the tip of the tongue, it will instantly turn into “Yes.” and contrariwise. Maybe it is because of some series of fears like “Oh no, People may label me as a rude person.” “My yes (or no) may spoil our bond.” “Don’t want to miss out.”, where these fears will turn out zilch when used politely, leading to exhaustion of vexation. The short words, “Yes!” and “No!” will turn out discourteous if used alone but will give a polite look if specific phrases accompany it. Some particular expressions like ” Of course,” ” By all means,” ” Absolutely,” “Certainly,” “Go right ahead,” ” Yeah sure,”  can be integrated with a “Yes,” for a polished conversation. In the same manner, restoring “No” with phrases like “I am afraid not,” “Actually,” “Not really,” will add a glaze to your conversation. The Yes/No etiquette will not only portray you as an individual with integrity and honesty but also hike credence in yourself. To be productive, you have to be focused and, if you want to be focused, you should learn the art of saying ‘NO.’

Steve Jobs, the chairman, and co-founder of Apple Inc., once answered in a conference regarding OpenDoc in 1997, “Focusing is about saying ‘No’ and the result of that focus is going to be some great products. “It is not easy to be always a people pleaser; sometimes, we have to tell our friends, or near or dear people what we feel without hesitating but politely, which will bring happiness inside out. Utilize the power of saying ‘No’ to grow; develop your gut feeling, which will be your most elegant weapon. If you think that you play a complying role in every walks of your life to get recognized, then it’s time to stop those thoughts as this people-pleasing syndrome will sabotage your happiness. Fear of rejection is the one leading cause for this syndrome; because you fear that you may lose your circle of friends or relations once you say a No. Give one conscious try by telling a polite ‘no’ when your heart speaks to you a ‘no’; then you will never blame the world for not being kind to you. Later on, this habit will make you feel liberated from all types of barriers, and eventually, you will become a person with self-esteem, self-worth, and self-love equation.

“It is easy to say, ‘no!’ when there is a deeper ‘yes!’ burning

 inside.” Stephen Covey